Getting Started with Cricket Baking
Okay, so I decided to try making cricket cake because honestly, I was bored of regular desserts and saw some YouTube dude eat bugs. Grabbed a bag of dried crickets from the weird health food aisle at Walmart last Tuesday. Felt kinda awkward holding it at checkout, but whatever.
Step 1: Murder the Crickets Again (Just Kidding!)
First thing: dumped those dried crickets in my blender. Pulsed until they looked like gross brown dust. Smelled like stale peanuts mixed with sadness. Almost chickened out here, but hey – subscribers want content, right? Sifted the powder twice ’cause nobody wants crunchy cricket legs in their cake.
Step 2: Mixing the Gruesome Batter
Threw together the usual cake stuff:
- 2 cups flour
- 1 cup sugar
- Half cup cocoa powder
Then dumped in half cup cricket powder. Mixed while gagging slightly. Added eggs and milk like normal. Batter looked exactly like chocolate cake batter – total relief.
Step 3: Baking the Abomination
Poured everything into a greased pan and shoved it in the oven at 350°F. Timer set for 35 minutes. Sat nervously watching through the oven window, half-expecting it to crawl out. Actual miracle: it rose perfectly and smelled like… chocolate? Weird.
Step 4: Frosting Lies
Made buttercream frosting to cover any cricket flavor. Went heavy on the vanilla. Spread it thick like armor over the cooled cake. Sprinkled regular chocolate chips on top as visual distraction. Smart move.
Step 5: The Moment of Truth
Called my neighbor Kevin over as test subject. Didn’t tell him about crickets. Dude ate two slices and said “tastes nutty, what’s the secret?” Finally confessed. He turned green but didn’t puke! Success? Sorta? Anyway, filmed whole thing for TikTok. Pro tip: drink milk while eating – masks the aftertaste.
Final thoughts? Won’t make it again ’cause crickets are pricey and creepy. But 10/10 for shock value at parties. Left the leftover slices on my porch – raccoons didn’t touch it. Make of that what you will.
