This went on for months

Posted on January 4, 2026January 4, 2026 by nha cai tang tien

But the minute I tried to put solid plans down, things got… blurry. Like trying to grab smoke. Every time I thought I had a handle on it, the details would just slip away. I’d sit there, staring at my notes, and what seemed so clear just yesterday would suddenly feel like a tangled mess. It wasn’t just confusion; it was this weird sense that the foundation I was building on wasn’t real. Like I was building a sandcastle while the tide was coming in, only I hadn’t even noticed the water until it was already up to my ankles.

This went on for months. I’d push, I’d pull, I’d try to force structure onto this very fluid idea. I got frustrated, really frustrated. I’d tell myself, “Come on, just focus! What’s wrong with you?” I felt like I was losing my grip on reality, or at least my own personal reality. My usual drive and discipline just weren’t cutting it. It felt like trying to swim against a strong current that wasn’t even visible; just a relentless, draining pull.

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